PostUse this song for teaching DEAR MAN for asking or saying no

The featured song of the week is “Part of Your World” from the Little Mermaid.


Here are the lyrics Ariel uses to describe how she feels:

I wanna be where the people are

I wanna see, wanna see ’em dancin’

Walking around on those, what do you call ’em?

Oh, feet

She then Asserts what she wants here:

Up where they walk, up where they run

Up where they stay all day in the sun

Wanderin’ free, wish I could be

Part of that world

How can we rewrite this to be a true DEARMAN? 

D- Describe the situation

E- Express your feelings and opinions

A- Assertively ask or say no

R- Reinforce the person you are asking

M- Stay mindful of your goal

A- Appear confident

N- Negotiate for other options

I had a client complete Ariel’s DEAR MAN and then we applied the “DEAR MAN” formula to her situation.

Writing a “DEAR MAN” script as a Disney character is a genius way to demonstrate this skill in a non-threatening, fun way. This genius idea came from one of my DBT Informed Music Therapy teachers, Suzanne Makary, MT-BC.

Let us know what you think.

Can you think of any other Disney characters that need a “DEAR MAN”?

Another of our colleagues, Bailey Hinz, MT-BC wrote this awesome original version of a song that you might recognize.  Notice how it demonstrates the steps of DEAR MAN.  Click Here.


**For a library of resources, including in-depth instructions for using common songs for DBT skills, plus our own original songs and ready-made activities, specifically created by DBT Informed Board Certified Music Therapists to strengthen particular DBT skills, click below and join the membership that applies to you.

DBT Clinician 


Learning DBT for yourself

Music Therapist

Have a Musical Monday!

Hillary Cartner-Ambrose, MT-BC

DBT Informed Music Therapist

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