Post“Before He Cheats” by Carrie Underwood for DBT 3 States of Mind

According to the DBT model, there are three states of mind.

  • Reasonable Mind deals with thinking, facts, and logic.
  • Emotion Mind is ruled by feelings and (often impulsive) urges.
  • Wise Mind is the synthesis (another word for combination or inclusion) of both reason and emotion.  It’s a balanced, centered, and calm place of knowing. It’s intuitive.  It’s the state of mind we want to be in when making important decisions and to avoid acting on impulsive urges.

In the song “Before He Cheats” by Carrie Underwood,  she says,

“I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped-up four-wheel drive, Carved my name into his leather seats.”

After listening to this song while reading the lyric sheet I asked my client “What state of mind do you think she is in?”, to which she replied “Emotion mind!”

 “Is this effective thinking?  If this is not a wise minded way to handle the presented situation, then what would be a more effective option?”, I asked.

To which my client answered “no she is not in wise mind.  She should take a deep breath, step away and cool down.”

We then discussed how being aware of the states of mind we are in can help keep us from acting impulsively and regretting it later.

There are certainly other ways to use this song for DBT…this is just one of them.



**To get access to specific detailed instructions on how to use Carrie Underwood’s “Before He Cheats” song for learning and remembering the 3 states of mind, along with a library of other songs and activities for DBT,  join the membership that applies to you.  

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Try using  “Before He Cheats” for strengthening the 3 states of mind. Let us know how it goes.

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